It’s not every Christmas Day that you get to take a break from the mulled wine and roast pheasant (or whatever you eat on Christmas; personally, I’m partial to matzo brei and lactose-free eggnog for Chrismukkah) in order to watch Beyoncé perform in her hometown of Houston, but that’s exactly what went down this year.
Queen Bey took the field in the middle of the Houston Texans’ faceoff against the Baltimore Ravens in order to perform songs from her latest record, Cowboy Carter, live on Netflix—and it was, predictably, amazing. Below, find all the thoughts I had about Beyoncé’s Christmas Day performance:
- “Houston’s hometown hero”! Exactly!
- The HAT!
- “16 Carriages”!
- Sorry, I’ll try to stop just yelling whatever I see.
- Oh my God, I need all the details on that majestic white horse she’s riding in on.
- Americana at its finest, for real.
- Car culture is BACK, baby.
- Is this a red cross-body? Or is it part of the look? I have so many questions.
- More horses!
- Oh, okay, it’s not a cross-body, it’s a sash.
- I know Bey’s cover of “Blackbird” is polarizing, but I, for one, am here for it.
- The maribou! So much pageantry.
- The VEILS!
- Just how many songs is this medley going to encompass? Can it be all of them?
- To paraphrase one of my colleagues’ questions, is she in an airplane hangar?
- Honestly, I don’t know where else you’d film this type of thing.
- When is “Bodyguard” happening?
- The hat is OFF!
- Let’s literally get in formation (anachronism, I know, I’m sorry).
- These tubas are going CRAZY.
- God, Bey, you certainly do have shooters.
- These chaps are making me even gayer.
- We love a Shaboozey collab, don’t we, girls?
- “Look at that horse, look at that horse, look at that horse.” I already am!
- Stop everything and salute the juck (jorts truck), please, if you love your country.
- POST MALONE????
- I have to admit, they really have some vocal chemistry.
- Bring out Dolly for “Jolene” or I’ll cry.
- Okay, it looks like I’m crying.
- I’m going to re-air my Festivus grievance right now: Bey’s cover of “Jolene” is great, but the original song is not about female competition! It is about female-on-female lust! Thank you!
- “It’s only right that we do ‘Texas Hold ’Em’ for the first time in Texas on Christmas,” sayeth Bey, and as usual, she’s right.
- Is that Blue? Hi, girlina!
- Spending Christmas two-stepping with her mom like an absolute sweetie. We love to see it!
- Are the twins coming out?
- Imagine lifting Beyoncé. Like, literally, just imagine lifting Beyoncé.
- What a performer! What a night! What a holiday! Now, what’s happening on January 14?
