It’s easy to say the wrong thing. When the wife told me she’d received a fine for not wearing a seatbelt, I probably shouldn’t have responded with; “Why’s that then? Wouldn’t it fit?”
Mike Newell is in a similar boat. His controversial views on female officials have landed him in a spot of bother; but in my opinion, there could well be a nail with a pounding headache. It’s unfair to ask a woman to make crucial decisions less than 24 hours after an episode of Emmerdale.
All joking aside, Amy Rayner is more than capable. If I had to mark her performance using the binary scale, I’d give her ‘1’.
Is it a coincidence that Spurs are wearing a Toto Sgp chocolate coloured kit now that women are running the line? (A lady will be less inclined to flag for offside if they’re contemplating a large dairy milk.) If you’re not cynical about the situation, you probably haven’t thought it through. There’s no need to ponder for too long on the outcome of the Blackburn v Tottenham match. Be a smarty; eat up the 8/5 about a home win.
Alan Pardew and Jose Mourinho are the undisputed kings of the goal celebration. Let’s hope there’s not a lady lino on duty when Chelsea face West Ham, or it could turn into a scene from ‘Saturday Night Fever’. The champions have too much for the Hammers; their title hopes will be stayin’ alive at 1/4.
Jose Mourinho has had a pop at the Chelsea fans, he’s accused them of being quieter than El Hadji Diouf’s wife. Chelsea supporters will have plenty to sing about if they cover the 2-0/3-0 correct scores at 5/2.
The word on the street is that Frank Lampard is to be offered a new deal worth £130,000 a week; that buys a whole lot of chicken wings. The Lamp has found the net in three of his last five games; he’s worth a nibble at 13/8 to score against his former employers.
It’s fair to say that Iain Dowie made an absolute ‘Desert Orchid’ of the Charlton job; sorry, I meant ‘dog’s dinner’. Charlton are bottom of the table and haven’t won in Reading for 25 years, the Royals should be backed at a majestic even money.
Finding Michael Jackson babysitting work is tough, finding Mike Newell a job at the equal opportunities commission is even tougher, but finding a winner in the Everton v Bolton match is proving nigh impossible. I can’t see past the draw at 9/4.
Sir Alex was far from happy when news broke that Keith Hackett had arranged a meeting with Jose Mourinho. Fergie’s voice reached such a high pitch, Mike Newell wanted him removed from the touchline. United have won on their last three visits to Bramall Lane without conceding a goal, I fancy a repeat at 11/10.
Gareth Southgate has led Boro up to 13th …